I questioned God. 07/17/2019

Today I questioned God,

It was the hardest moment in my spiritual life and my personal life, as they are now one because I am a born again Christian.

I wondered how I asked how, I thought: How are these animals being abused and taken from their homelands.

It was as if I stripped off my spiritual clothes and became of full flesh, tempted by sin.

Not because I questioned God, but because of the way I asked, and my anger towards God.

I was fueled with ignorance and anger towards God for allowing elephants to be hurt and abused.

I could not understand why the God I serve who loves me so dearly was allowing such bad things to happen, as they are not human beings.

I became even angrier when I had no response, then an answer came.

This is a test. – God, my God.

It was time to soul search.

I cried some more, wept actually.

Well,

I received my answer

– it wasn’t good enough for me.

So, I became more angry, livid, sending in complaints and animal cruelty petitions to end this crisis.

I cried.

More, and more, my mother realized that after I vented to her, I needed time.

A few minutes later, filled with hurt and hatred for abusers in my heart – I sobbed.

I crawled into my mother’s arms like a baby.

She read to me a passage that my spirit craved, from where and what was said?

– I have no idea, no remembrance of what happened other than I heard God, again:

This is a test. – God, Our God.

He said it so clearly that my heart pierced in remembering that

HE IS GOD. THE ALMIGHTY, THE ALL POWERFUL.

I felt joy, yet sorrow as I condemned my father of the doings that only sin can produce, not The Holy One.

He said to me, to my spirit as well: Free will.

My heart almost sank.

Wow, want an Almighty God he truly is.

I said: I’m sorry, God.

Now, I asked for forgiveness:

Please forgive me,

Father, forever questioning your love for me, your son’s feelings, and the earth’s treasures: animals.

As you are the Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Alpha and Omega.

I love you, Father.

My Dad.

My Abba.

My Maker.

I love you, and please forgive me as I know you have already done so.

THANK YOU for your acceptance of the imperfect me.

Forever yours,

Tiara, Your daughter

~ Words to God. ♡

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